nj, clovek se snazi vyorat na tom svete svoji brazdu, a hned je pro smich

GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state
resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is
something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone. -- A. Pierce

Science Advances One Funeral At A Time. -- Max Planck

"Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight."
- Bill Gates

"Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code." - Christopher Thompson

"If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, 'We're sorry, here's a coupon for two more.'"
- Mark Minasi

"Learning to program has no more to do with designing interactive software than learning to touch type has to do with writing poetry"
- Ted Nelson

"A good programmer looks both ways before crossing a one-way street."

A programmer is a person who reasonably expects the first 90% of a project to take 90% of their time and the other 10% of the project to take the other 90% of their time

Dalekohlad (n): zariadenie majuce podobny vstah k oku, aky ma telefon k uchu, umoznuje, aby nas vzdialene objekty unavovali mnozstvom nepotrebnych detailov.

The lesson is: never try. - Homer Simpson

Sayings as related to Safe Living March 31, 2006
Compiled by Henry Shovic

* The important things are always simple.
* The simple things are always hard.
* Focus on nothing but see everything,
* What you believe is what you'll achieve
* What do you bring to a knife fight? A gun.
* What do you bring to a gun fight. Two friends with guns.
* Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
* Never leave your wingman.
* Always remember your jet was made by the lowest bidder.
* Train like you plan to fight.
* Always honor a threat.
* If something makes you look up, look down.
* Trust, but verify.
* Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt. Special Olympics
* Know the opposition.
* Good Fences make good neighbors.
* If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
* Know when it's time to get out of Dodge.
* Always know how to get out of Dodge.
* If you make it through, it's up to you.
* Tough times don't last, tough people do.
* Don't let anyone ruin three minutes of your day.
* United we stand, divided we fall
* Beware you who fight with monsters, lest ye become one.
* When you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back into you.
* The more thou sweatest in training, the lest thou bleedest in combat.
* Indeed, if thou hurteth in thy efforts and thou suffer painful dings, then thou are Doing It Right.
* Thou shalt remember there are no rules- Thou Shalt win at any cost.
* Thou Shalt Keep it Simple, Stupid.
* Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
* Watch their hands. Hands kill.
* Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement is preferred.)
* Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
* Pigs get fed; hogs get slaughtered.
* If you dance with a grizzly bear, you'd better let him lead. (The law of volunteering.)
* When putting cheese in the mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. (The law of avoiding oversell.)
* The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. (The know-when-to-quit law.)
* Never accept a drink from a urologist. (The law of common sense.)
* There are days when no matter which way you spit, it's upwind. (The first law of reality.)
* When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. (The second law of reality.)
* Whatever it is that hits the fan, it will not be evenly distributed. (The third law of reality.)
* Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose. (The fourth law of reality.)
* Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. (The fifth law of reality.)
* Reality is a crutch for those who can't cope with fantasy. (The law of goal-setting.)
* The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
* If you're up to your eyeballs in Gomers, you're in combat.
* When in doubt, use industrial strength deterrence.
* Never fly in the same cockpit with someone who is braver than you.
* Priorities are man-made, not God-made.
* A plan never survives the first thirty seconds of combat.
* If it's stupid but it works, it ain't stupid.
* Only turn to blow the opposition away; otherwise, run away and fight another guy.
* From time to time, the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots. --Thomas Jefferson
* "There is no avoiding war, it can only be postponed to the advantage of others. -- Niccolo Machiavelli
* You don't win a war by dying for your country. You win a war by making the other son-of-a-bitch die for his. -- General Patton
* A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. --Anonymous
* Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate -- the bombs always hit the ground.--Anonymous
* A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. - the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance. --Anonymous
* Any ship can be a minesweeper... once. --Anonymous
* Five second fuses only last three seconds. --Anonymous
* Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid. --Anonymous
* Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons! --Anonymous
* Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you. --Anonymous
* Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything. --Anonymous
* Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire. --Anonymous
* Friendly fire - isn't. --Anonymous
* If the enemy is in range, so are you. --Anonymous
* If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you. --Anonymous
* Mines are equal opportunity weapons. --Anonymous
* If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush. --Anonymous
* Incoming fire has the right of way. --Anonymous
* It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. --Anonymous
* Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out. --Anonymous
* Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. --Anonymous
* Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one. --Anonymous
* Push to test... Release to detonate. --Anonymous
* Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at. --Anonymous
* The easy way is always mined. --Anonymous
* The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: 1. When you're ready for them. 2. When you're not ready for them. --Anonymous
* The side with the simplest uniforms wins. --Anonymous
* There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. --Anonymous
* Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. --Anonymous
* We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction. --Anonymous
* When in doubt empty the magazine. --Anonymous
* When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. --Anonymous
* When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat. --Anonymous
* Who *cares* if a laser guided 500 lb bomb is accurate to within 9 feet? --Anonymous
* Tracers work both ways. --Anonymous
* Fall down seven times, get up eight. (old Japanese proverb)
* We tend to get what we expect. -- Norman Vincent Peale
* You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
* The true meaning of life is to plant a tree under whose shade you will never sit.

Beauty does never come for free.

hi darling how was your day today?

Some people have got a mental horizon of radius zero and call it their point of view. [Dave Hilbert]

He took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Stestvi tveho zivota zalezi na druhu tvych myslenek. -- Marcus Aurelius Antonius

> You can buy a decent used piano, or a nice guitar, for the price of all that stuff. Want music? Go play some.
I tried that, but once I managed to get the piano set up I had difficulty working out which pedals did what and I couldn't see through the windscreen very well. Frankly, I thought it was a little dangerous. Now I only drive while playing the oboe.

After the first printing, an errata file was started. The publisher did not incorporate this into the second printing. For the third printing, he made all the corrections known up to that point in time. For the fourth and fifth printings, the publisher subcontracted the production work, and accidentally gave the subcontractor the files for the first printing. The sixth printing corrects all the errors known up to when it was printed (November 2006). Therefore, the best copy to obtain is the sixth printing, and the second best is the third printing.

When in panic, fear and doubt,
Drink in barrels, eat, and shout.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?

Violence is a sword that has no handle -- you have to hold the blade.

Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with
brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and
support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de
France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit.
-- Lance Armstrong

Rain showers my spirit
and waters my soul.
-- Emily Logan Decens

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

C++ has its place in the history of programming languages. Just as Caligula has his place in the history of the Roman Empire.

In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt.

There are only two things wrong with C++: The initial concept and the implementation.

If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution.

The Space Shuttle and the Horse's Rear End

Say friend, did you know that the US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8 1/2 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.

I see, but why did the English build them like that?

Because the first railway lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Well, why did they use that gauge in England?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did their wagons use that odd wheel spacing?

Because, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads. Because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.

So who built these old rutted roads?

The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The Roman roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts?

The original ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons, were first made by the wheels of Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8 1/2 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot.

And the motto of the story is Specifications and bureaucracies live forever.

So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two war-horses.

So, just what does this have to do with the exploration of space?

Well, there's an interesting extension of the story about railroad gauge and horses' behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are the solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad from the factory runs through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than a railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So a major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was originally determined by the width of a horse's ass.