Pro ty neschopné flákání: Mě dostali tydle:
Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream." The waitress replies, "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"
" A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer stay in a hotel.
The engineer is awakened by a smell and gets up to check it. He finds a fire in the hallway, sees a nearby fire extinguisher and after extinguishing it, goes back to bed.
Later that night, the physicist gets up, again because of the smell of fire. After calculating air pressure, flame temperature and projected trajectories, he extinguishes the fire with the minimal required fluid.
The punchline has been left as an exercise for the reader. "
Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.- Pavlov's Dog
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Entropy: Shit breaks.
(From a Statics class): Shit don't move.
Newton's Third Law: Shit hits back.
First Law of Thermodynamics: You can't win.
Second Law of Thermodynamics: You can't break even.
Third Law of Thermodynamics: You can't stop playing.